In one of the spiritual groups on Facebook I belong to, the question was posed for debate: ‘Are you a Psychic or Medium?’ I waited a while before I joined the discussion, to see what others were saying, and how it linked in with my own thinking.
If you look at discussions on the subject, they usually conclude with ‘Everyone is psychic, but not everyone is a medium.’ To some extent, I’d go along with that. We all have some extra sensory ability, but we don’t necessarily choose to acknowledge it or work with it. And a good medium needs to hone their psychic abilities and work with them in order to be able to effectively and reliably connect with Spirit.
A good friend of mine, who is both psychic and a medium self-deprecatingly describes herself like this:
I’m not a medium, I’m an extra large!
All joking aside, I am not too keen to attach labels, one way or another, because labels are limiting. Also, those of us who do work with Spirit and energy aren’s so neatly categorised, because our skills often cross more than one border. More of that later, but for me, one of the best articles I’ve read on the topic is this from James Van Praagh.
As I understand it, and as science tells us, everything is energy. Both psychics and mediums work with energies of different vibrations. The energy of the living vibrates at a lower frequency that the energy of those in the realm of Spirit. So the only way we can hope to communicate with them is to raise our own vibrations to a point where they will lower their energy to a level where we can communicate.
I see myself as a psychic and healer, but people who are more knowledgeable than me tell me I am also a medium. I have also been told this by Spirit, and the angels I work with. So what does that mean? To me, it means I am privileged, and I don’t care what people call me. I just do what I am guided to do by Spirit, and my own intuition, and I do it with love, for the highest good of all.
I have done demonstrations of mediumship, and spirits have obligingly come through. Until they show up, I have no idea who will join the party, but unfailingly, they help those who need it most with their messages. When I do private readings, it can be just about the energy of the person I’m reading for, or I may find I have an accompanying spirit anxious to impart a message to their loved one, or tell me something they need to know.
So, it’s all about the energy. One of those in the discussion mentioned psychics reading auras. I don’t see auras, but I can pick up on energy, even if the person isn’t in the room with me. Just a few days ago, I was talking to a friend who was having problems with one of his arms. I was able to pinpoint the area of the pain and send healing, and it’s not the first time it’s happened.
So, I am unable to see the aura of someone in the same room, but I can pick up on pain 1,000 miles away. It doesn’t mean I am a good psychic, a bad psychic or not psychic at all. All it means is I pick up on energy in a different way. I’ve sent distant healing and people have been able to tell me the exact time I did it, and I’ve had others tell me there was no need to send it, as they felt better now! So we all identify and work with energy in different ways.
When it comes to mediumship, it works differently again. Some people will come for a reading in the hope of contacting a specific person in spirit, but no medium, however experienced, can guarantee bringing through Aunt Maud, or indeed anyone at all. It takes a lot of energy to come through to our world with messages, so it’s not going to happen to order.
It’s common for departed souls to come back and make sure their loved ones are okay, and you may well sense their presence. But for a spirit to come through to a stranger and communicate a message is a different thing altogether. And a good medium will have spirits queued up to connect, because they trust the medium to get their message through. It’s not simple, and it’s not guaranteed.
The thing to remember is, while we choose to work with Spirit, they also choose whether they will work with us or not – they are not ours to command. Working with Spirit is a privilege not to be taken for granted or exploited, and the truth is, if you need an urgent message from Aunt Maud, she’ll come through when you need her, not when someone tries to summon her. Yes, she could come through as part of a famous medium’s demonstration, but she could equally come through to your neighbour on the corner who doesn’t talk about her gift.
It’s a very grey area, and it was muddied even more for me a few weeks ago. My ex husband passed to Spirit on 23 April. A couple of days before, Glenys and I felt a cold energy in the house. I also felt my mother’s energy, and she told me she had brought my husband to apologise and ask for my forgiveness, and Glenys’s forgiveness, for what had happened in the past. My mother had brought him, because she knew I needed closure, and she also recognised that he couldn’t pass peacefully without making his peace with us.
I had forgiven him some time ago – you cannot work with the light while there is darkness in your heart. We both said we forgave him, and we felt the energy change as he left with my mother.
The next day, the energy was back, and my mother told me he couldn’t be sure we weren’t holding a grudge. So Glenys and I joined in sending him love and healing, and telling him it was okay to go home, he had nothing more to keep him earthbound. Less than 24 hours later, he passed to Spirit peacefully in his sleep, although he had been in a lot of pain and distress for some time.
So, what can we learn from that episode, about whether I am a psychic, a medium or both? Some people say that psychics work with the energy of the living, while mediums work with spirit energy. I worked with both that day – my mother has been in Spirit since 1988, while my husband was still on the Earth plane, held back by unfinished business.
The one thing that runs through all this – that runs through everything – is love. Because my mother loved me, she brought my husband to me, since I wasn’t able to go to him. If I had, I would have made sure he knew he was forgiven, and saved him a journey!
Despite our separation, he loved me enough to hold on to a life that was painful on all levels until he was sure of my forgiveness. And Glenys had enough love in her heart to give him permission to go home. As for me, I was able to remember the loving times and leave behind recent events so that I could remember him as he deserved to be remembered – a man who loved life and loved me, until illness turned him into something he wasn’t, and there was no alternative but to separate.
Whether you label yourself a psychic, a medium, or something else is up to you. It can be convenient for others, but in the grand scheme of things, it’s not that important. What really matters is how you do your sacred work. If you have love in your heart and humility in your soul, you will shine your light wherever it’s needed. The things that matter most cannot be neatly labelled and compartmentalised. Read more on my blog here.
When I was 16, my father died suddenly, and a few days after he passed, I was sure I saw him at the bottom of my bed, making me curious about the afterlife. When I told my Mother about it the next day, she said it was wishful thinking. That seemed to be confirmed on the day of the funeral. Back in 1968, it was customary to have the open coffin on display in the front room, so friends and relatives could pay their respects before leaving for church, and much against my will, I was told I had to say goodbye to Dad. I was convinced he was breathing, although he was so cold. I could actually see the ivory satin going up and down, and again I was told it was wishful thinking.
That seemed a logical explanation – I was definitely a Daddy’s Girl and I wanted him back with me. I tried to put the episode out of my mind, but 50 years later, having developed my psychic powers somewhat, I realise Dad was sending me the message that though he wasn’t physically with me any longer, he would always be by my side when I needed him, even in the afterlife.
For the next 9 years, although I thought of Dad a lot, I pretty much convinced myself that he’d gone, and all I had left were memories. However, on New Year’s Eve 1976, I received proof positive that there was indeed an afterlife. With my husband and two children, I was moving from our house in Wolverhampton to start a new life in Telford, Shropshire. We had to vacate the house on New Year’s Eve or pay another month’s rent, so we called in my brother in law and a rented van to empty the place of our possessions.
My brother in law had always said he sensed a presence in the house, and was glad we were moving out. However, we disregarded his concerns, as he had a few ‘funny ideas’ – that is, things we didn’t agree with. I was not so open minded at 25 as I am at 65, but then I hadn’t had the life experiences to know any better.
It took several trips to empty the house, and my husband went along to help unload. The children were with my mother in law, so I was alone in the house for an hour or so. I was working away downstairs, cleaning the rooms that had been emptied, when I heard the doors of the fitted wardrobe in what had been the children’s bedroom banging. I cursed under my breath, thinking our dog or one of the cats must have got trapped. I was on my way upstairs to free them, when I saw the dog and all three cats in the garden. I called them in, but as I opened the patio doors, they ran to the bottom of the garden and refused to come in. That was enough for me, and, cold as it was, I sat in the garden with them until my husband and brother in law returned.
I told them what had happened, and they agreed we needed to get out of the house as soon as possible. I’d stripped the beds, but had left the bedding on the landing in a bundle to be pushed in wherever it would fit. Feeling much happier now I was no longer alone, I went upstairs to collect the bedding. Although all the radiators in the house were warm, and there were no windows open, it was very cold on the landing, and a feeling of dread crept over me. As I started to descend, a woman walked through the door of the children’s room and brushed past me on the stairs. Although she was beautiful, feelings of anger and hatred emanated from her, and I did the only sensible thing – I threw the bundle of washing down ahead of me and legged it to the van.
My husband and brother in law quickly finished off indoors, and managed to coax the dog and cats into the van. My eyes were drawn to the upstairs window, and there was the woman, no longer angry, just looking very sad to see me leave. I thought she must be sorry to have frightened me, but I was frankly glad I didn’t need to go back to that house.
We told my mother in law what had happened, but she was very sceptical, and put it down to me being exhausted because of the move and having too vivid an imagination. I wanted to believe her, but later that evening, at a family party – remember this was New Year’s Eve – my husband noticed teeth marks on my left hand. He said I must have been worrying about my experience, and chewed on my hand, but there were two problems with that – I hadn’t been chewing my hand, although I couldn’t stop thinking about the afternoon. Apart from that, the teeth marks were small, like a child’s, and definitely didn’t originate from my mouth.
Fast forward a year, and we were happily settled in our new home in Telford. Again, it was New Year’s Eve, and again, we had a party to enjoy in the evening, once the chores were done. I was working away in the kitchen, cleaning the floor while a stew bubbled away on the stove. It was cold outside, but lovely and warm in the kitchen, with the stove going and the radiator on.
All of a sudden, the room became icy cold, and our dog George, who had been sitting by the stove, willing the stew to be ready so he could check it was fit for human consumption, started barking and fled towards the garden. I thought maybe my husband had returned from the park with the children, but there was nobody there, and the door was closed, so there was nothing to account for the sudden chill in the kitchen. Or maybe there was …
As I went back to the sink, I glanced in the mirror, and there was the reflection of the lady I thought I’d left behind in Wolverhampton. I was startled, but this time I wasn’t scared, because there was no animosity about her. In fact, she seemed to be asking me for help, but I didn’t think there was anything I could do for her, so I just said ‘Sorry, I can’t help you. Please leave, as I don’t want my children to be frightened.’ She gave me a hug, then left, and the room was back to normal. When my husband came back, I told him what had happened, and we decided that as the spirit had followed us, we should give her a name. I can’t remember why we thought Beryl was a good idea, but Beryl she became!
Beryl returned the following two years – 1978 and 1979 – for brief visits, then we didn’t see her again until New Year’s Eve, 1986, just a couple of months before we moved from Telford to Cornwall to manage a holiday park. She didn’t seem very happy, and seemed to hold on to me, as if she didn’t want me to leave. I just said ‘Hey Beryl, you’ve followed us once, you can follow us again if you want to, as long as you don’t scare away the holidaymakers.’
I thought she’d taken me at my word, and was keeping well away, because I didn’t see her for about three years. In the meantime, we lost the job, our marriage broke up, and we faced several other serious problems. I was at my lowest point when I met the man who would become my second husband, and soon after we moved in together, Beryl came back. This time was different, though. For a start, it wasn’t New Year’s Eve, it was summer. And she didn’t come to my home, she joined us on an evening out at a local club. A friend who was with us sensed something, but I actually saw her, and she looked happy and waved to me. That was back in 1990, and she hasn’t appeared to me since.
I’ve thought about who may have been, and why she followed me around for so long, but I really have no idea. I don’t recognise her from
the many old family photos I have, and since she never gave me her name, I have no way of tracking her down. Maybe she was a trapped soul who needed help to cross over into the afterlife, and thought I was the one to help her, or maybe she was a harbinger of change, as she only seemed to appear when my life was about to change radically. When she appeared to me in 1979, I was already pregnant with my youngest child, although I didn’t realise that at the time.
From my current standpoint of having some knowledge of things spiritual, I’ve more or less come to the conclusion that maybe Beryl appeared to me in order to prove that there is another world beyond this earthly life, and also spark my interest in preparation for my personal spiritual journey. I will probably never know in this lifetime, and it doesn’t really matter. Everything happens for a reason, even if we don’t recognise it at the time. Being naturally curious, I would love to know who she was, and why she shared my life for so long, but I certainly feel privileged that she chose me to appear to. I only wish I could have helped her – but maybe I did, in some small way. I certainly hope so.
In the early days of my psychic development, something that I at first found disconcerting, but now find absolutely magical, is the way messages from Spirit, whether for myself or others, just pop into my head from nowhere. It happens mostly when I’m not even trying to make a connection or ask a question, and according to Alison and other experienced mediums, that’s a sure sign the message is comming from outside, and not from your own internal thought processes.
It’s only when you recognise how Spirit works that you realise that you’ve probably been receiving messages all your life, and just thought they were ‘lightbulb moments.’ In a way they were – it’s just that the light came from another dimension! Actually, the idea for this article just ‘popped into my head’ last night, and I started writing, then got stuck, because I don’t want this category to be just about my experiences and what I’ve learned, I want to be able to help others recognise how Spirit and the Angels are working with them, and use that information to develop their own abilities. So I did the sensible thing and left it alone, and as soon as I went back to the post this morning, I just knew how to explain it.
If you think this sounds far-fetched, or that it’s some hogwash I’ve come up with to make the post sound more exciting, well, that’s your privilege, but any psychic or medium worth their space will tell you that guidance comes in all forms and at all times. My teacher Alison Wynne-Ryder, who is also a well-known writer on all things spiritual, often says she’s been guided to write something, or to change the content of a lesson, and it becomes clear very soon why this needed to happen. As well as writing course content, articles and books, Alison writes her own guided meditations and poems, and more often than not, the basic idea changes.
It’s easy to fight that and stick with your original idea, especially if you’re good at what you do, as indeed we both are. We are good writers, and we know our trade, but if you trust the messages you’re given, the end result can be so much more rewarding for you and for those who will benefit from the changes. This article is a vivid verification of that. My original idea was to tell you about several of my ‘popped into my head’ moments, and although they make for interesting reading, that’s about all you’ll get from them. However, I’ve now been guided in my psychic development to give more explanation of how it all works, so you can recognise and profit from your own similar moments.
The trouble is, some people have entirely the wrong idea about how messages come through from Spirit. You don’t need to be sat in a circle in a darkened room holding hands, or go into a trance, or call on your guides and the Angels to get the information you need. If you are open and receptive, you will receive what you need, when you need it, whether that’s inspiration for a creative project, an answer to a difficult question, or a solution to a worrying situation. Just trust in the Universe, and believe in yourself.
Now, briefly, I’ll tell you about two of my recent ‘lightbulb moments,’ and how they have affected me. The first came when I was chatting online to a Facebook friend who was having difficulty accepting the breakdown of his relationship, and was in despair and lonely. I don’t know this guy well – I’ve only ‘spoken’ to him online – but I found myself telling him that he would soon go out with someone he already knew, and that there would be questions involved. He pressed me for details, but that was all I had, and he said it was most unlikely, as none of the people he knew had ever figured on his romantic radar.
A week later, he contacted me with the news that he was going out with his neighbour, whom he’d known for 3 years, but never thought of romantically. They’d met in the corridor as he was on his way to his regular quiz night. She’d just broken up with her boyfriend, and said she needed to take her mind off things, so asked if she could go with him to the quiz night! I was a bit concerned that maybe he had made things happen, but the approach came from her. As he was telling me this, I got the message that this would not be a long term relationship, but that they would part on good terms and remain friends, and that is exactly what has happened. They realised they didn’t have a future together, but it gave them both the confidence to get out and meet other people.
How did this benefit me? Well, I was having a bit of a crisis of confidence, because although I was doing quite well with psychometry, meditation, visualisation and other psychic development, and had sensed loved ones around me, I didn’t believe I’d ever be able to do readings for other people. This proved that I could, and in fact two days after this confirmation, Alison asked us each to do a mini reading for a friend of hers we knew nothing about. I managed to identify 6 things – two past, two present and two future – which the lady was able to take. The ability is there, I just had to trust in it, and myself.
The second incident seemed trivial, but turned out not to be. My friend Glenys and I had booked an appointment with my hairdresser, and we were talking about it to some other friends, who encouraged us to make a pamper session out of it and have manicures and pedicures. Then someone asked me what I was doing with my hair, and I replied, ‘Just the usual trim to get rid of the split ends.’ Suddenly, there was a loud voice in my head saying, ‘Cut it short, Sandra.’ It was so clear, I assumed someone in the room had spoken, but the voice wasn’t familiar, and I couldn’t say for sure if it was male or female.
I’ve had long hair for at least the last 20 years, and I’ve never considered going short, so I tried to push the idea out
of my mind, but I got the message again during the night, and again a couple of days later. I discussed it with Alison, and a couple of trusted friends, and they said as I’d been given the message three times, I should trust it and act on it. Alison even visualised the style I would end up with, and I am absolutely delighted with it.
The transformation in my hairstyle has also brought a transformation in my attitude. Everyone says I look younger, and I am more feisty, and they are right. I’ve been dealing with an ongoing situation which has sapped my energy and brought me very low at times, but if you look good, you feel good, and I find I have a lot more strength than I thought I had. It’s the reverse of the Samson-Delilah dynamic – cutting my hair has increased my emotional strength, whereas Samson’s makeover robbed him of his physical strength.
It just goes to show that messages from Spirit come in many forms, and if you go with what you’re given, the rewards and your psychic development can be amazing. Love and blessings.