It’s not often I allow a guest post on my blog, but sometimes other people can tell it better than I can. It’s been a pretty traumatic week at Piddock Place, because Paddy dashed in front of a car on Sunday, and we all thought he’d had it. After a sickening thud on impact, he flew through the air, and landed on his side. It seemed his luck had run out, but after a few seconds, he jumped up and ran into the woods. We all thought it was a last gasp, adrenaline-fuelled effort to get to a place of safety to die, so we were absolutely delighted when, after about 20 minutes, he came running back out of the woods.
Being an intelligent dog, and perhaps realising how lucky he is, Paddy wanted to tell the story in his own words, so here’s his take on the day when he did an impression of James Bond’s Martini, and was shaken, rather than stirred. The pictures in the slideshow were taken just 24 hours after the incident, amazingly. However, it’s over to Paddy for now, and please ignore the bit about the vodka!
“When Mummy said how many people had been worried about me when I fought a car and lost, I thought I needed to set the record straight. I love my Mummy, but she exaggerates sometimes, and gets in a bit of a state. I’ve been told people get like that when they’re old, but don’t tell her I said that, or I might be wishing that car had sent me to the Rainbow Bridge. Mummy can get stroppy when she’s angry, especially when she’s been at the vodka, and she’s given the Russian Standard a right hammering just lately.
The true story – from the horse’s mouth – or rather from my mouth in this guest post, is that it was all Mummy’s fault. Instead of taking Gizmo and I to the orange groves for our daily run on Sunday, she said it would be too wet and muddy after the rain, and as she’d just been for a meal with Uncle Jim and Aunty Joan, she didn’t want to get her best boots mucky. So she and Aunty Glenys decided to take us up to the Ermita in Algorfa. That was also muddy, but not as bad as the orange groves, and Gizmo and I were perfectly happy with that. As long as we get a good run off the lead, we’re not too fussy where we go.
Anyway, this rather tasty looking lady dog was making puppy eyes at me from across the road, so I went over to say hello. Mummy shouted ‘Paddy, come here,’ but she’s always spoiling my fun, so I just ignored her. That was a bit of a bad move on my part, because she wasn’t trying to keep me away from the lovely lady dog – she’d seen what I hadn’t, because love is blind. A silver Peugeot was making its way to Algorfa, and it must have been dead set on preserving my virginity, because it swept me off my feet – literally!
My first thought was that I was a goner, and I was waiting for Saint Peter to open the Pearly Gates for me, because despite what Mummy and Daddy say, I’m a very good boy – well most of the time. When I realised I was still breathing, my next thought was Mummy is going to finish what the car started, because I’d been a naughty boy and defied her, so I cleared off into the woods to give her time to realise just how precious I was to her.
I think I overcooked it a bit though, because when I came back, Mummy was all upset, and convinced I’d gone off to die. Honestly, that’s quite an insult to a big strong boy like me. It takes more than a car to take me out, and she should know that. However, I was quite gratified that there was a search party looking for me, so I trotted up to Aunty Glenys and let her put my lead on – just in case Mummy’s relief turned to revenge. You can never tell with humans, can you?
We got safely home, and instead of taking me straight in and making a fuss of me, Mummy just had to go and tell half the neighbourhood what had happened, leaving me in the car like a spare part. To add insult to injury, one of the local cats was parading up and down the street. I bet the nasty piece of work thought I couldn’t chase her after the accident, but as soon as Mummy opened the car door, I proved her wrong.
Unfortunately, Mummy got in the way, and ended up on the tarmac. Honestly, you’d have thought she’d be grateful that I had made such a miraculous recovery, but no, I was in the dog house, yet again. I’ll never work out how humans tick, if I live to be a hundred.
Sunday was a bit of a rough night, because I couldn’t get comfy, but Mummy was so good, she even put her pillow at the bottom of the bed, because I couldn’t manage to get to where she was, and she could tell I really needed cuddles, as I was quite frightened. Don’t let on to anybody though, or it will ruin my street cred. I market myself as a big, strong, indestructible Super Pup, so let’s keep it that way, shall we?
Anyway, all the best stories have a happy ending, and Aunty Glenys thought a nice run on La Mata Beach and a swim in the sea would help heal the grazes and prevent any infections. I have to admit I went a bit over the top, because I really am glad to be alive. I managed to knock Gizmo over a couple of times, and as usual, he laid it on with a trowel and acted like it was him who had almost died. He’s such a diva, but he’s okay really, and he lets me play with his toys, so I’ll put up with him for now.
There is a downside to all this though. Mummy is blaming herself – although Aunty Glenys is saying it’s my fault. That’s rather unjust, because if Mummy hadn’t been so worried about her boots, and that lady dog hadn’t been giving me the come-on, I wouldn’t have had the flying lesson from the car.
So now, Mummy says I have to do exactly what she says, and not pull, or run off, or get excited, or any of the things that make life worth living. As soon as I try to get in front of her, she makes me sit until she says I can go. That’s torture when you can see the sea, but she said if I didn’t behave, I’d go straight back to the car. And she’s shouting like I’m on another planet, although she does say ‘Good boy’ and give me a lovely cuddle when I do what she wants me to.
So, big thanks to everyone for being so nice, and looking after Mummy when she was so worried about me. But please – tell her to go easy on me now. The thing is, she says she couldn’t imagine life without me, and I feel exactly the same. I won’t admit it to her – and please don’t tell her I said so – but I was really sad at the thought that I’d have to leave her. I know I was a silly boy, and I will try even harder to be good. The trouble is, life is so exciting, and then I forget all my training.“